Who am I?

I’m not sure I’m prepared to answer that. I am a work in progress. Hopefully this blog will give some insight into who I am, not just for you the reader, but for myself as well.

I do know that I am an artist. My art project is me. This blog is part of that art project.

At times I feel like a sculptor,

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” – Michelangelo

chipping away at the garbage society has thrust upon me to discover the who I am inside.

Other times I feel like a painter,

“I dream my paintings, then I paint my dreams.” Vincent van Gogh

free to imagine myself however I want to be and then set forth to paint my dreams.

But I am neither a painter nor a sculptor. I am a musician and a performer. I am a song-writer and a composer. There are plenty of people out there who can play better or write better but there is no one who can be a better me – not that I think anyone would want to. While writing and performing music are central to who I am they are still only a small fraction of what will be my final masterpiece.

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I am a parent to two amazing kids. There is no greater honor or responsibility than to care for and give love and guidance to the next generation. My children are my number one priority so I do everything I can to not fuck them up.

I’ve been a social worker, a computer programmer  a restaurant employee, a clothes salesman, a paper boy and a home cleaner. I have loved every one of those jobs but none of them define who I am.

What I am is a survivor, just like you, just like everyone who is still here.

I know a thing or two about how much life can suck. In 1999 I left my 80K a year job to go on disability after being struck with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. I’ve struggled my whole life with Depression and Anxiety. I have Dyslexia which makes reading and writing a real bitch. I was Adopted as a baby which I view as a blessing but which has played into more shit that I could have imagined. I have never felt like I fit in, hence the moniker “LeFreak”.

I have always felt like a square peg in a round hole. I’m just determined to be the best square peg I can be. There are a lot of square pegs on this globe. I like to call them my friends.