5 Secrets for a Happy Life

There seems to be a lot of interest in happiness these days. Back when I was growing up no one seemed to worry about such trivial things. We were all concerned with was “how to get rich”, “how to get power” and “how to be successful” so I’m glad to see people focusing on happiness. As a generally happy person who deals with major depression and seasonal affective disorder I spend a great deal of time thinking about how to be happy. Here are a few secrets I have uncovered:

Secret #1: There is no such thing as a happy life. There are happy moments, happy occasions, happy feelings, but taken as a whole, life is not exactly happy. If you are paying attention at all you may have noticed that life kind of sucks. Ignorance may be bliss but I’m afraid I can’t teach you that. If you want to have a life you are just going to have to accept that it’s not always going to be happy. Life is full of ups and downs so learn to deal with it or quit.

Secret #2: Oh good, I’m glad you didn’t decide to quit just yet because this next secret is really important. If you’re not happy it’s your own damn fault. Whatever you are doing is not working. You are fucking up. I’ve seen you do it. I’ve seen you do it over and over again. You keep doing the same stupid shit thinking that it is going to make you happy and it’s never going to work. Stop doing it!

Secret #3: Wow, I really thought that I would have lost you by now. You must be a glutton for punishment. Well, let me let you in on a little secret. You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. You have gotten a raw deal and it’s not fair. You have every reason to bitch and complain. Throw yourself a pity party. Send me an invitation. I will show up with bells on. Just know that like any party, eventually it has to come to an end, and you’re probably going to have a mess to clean up.

Secret #4: The pity party is not going to make you happy. In fact, nothing is going to make much difference. No matter what you do or what happens in your life you will probably always be the same miserable or happy-go-lucky person that you have always been. Sure, if you win a cruise or fall in love you may be happier for a little while but before long the thrill will be gone and you will be back to your old self. Likewise, if you lose your job or get in a car accident you may have some pretty shitty days but you will adjust and carry on pretty much unfazed. Some people are just naturally happier than others and there is not much you can do about it.

Secret #5: Are you still reading this? That takes a lot of tenacity. After all that bad news you are still seeking happiness. We let me tell you, you already have everything you need to be happy. Whoever you are, whatever you are dealing with you can turn that into a strength. Whatever life hands you, it is part of life, view it as a gift. If you are dissatisfied with life, use that to drive you for something better. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others and it makes you miserable, find different people to compare yourself to. There are plenty of people doing worse. The point is, whatever you are doing has got you this far. It is working and with a few minor changes, it can only get better. You already know what makes you happy – do more of that. You know what makes you unhappy – do less of that. And while you’re at it, do what you can to make the people around you happier. I do believe that there is something to the theory that happy people surround themselves with happy people. We may not be able to control who is in our life but we can make choices about how we treat them. Treat them in ways that build happiness. It may not create a “happy life” but it will create more happy moments, happy occasions and happy feelings.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are in crisis, seek help. If you are experiencing prolonged depression or sporadic mood changes that put your life or the health of others at risk, seek medical attention. My advice is meant to be along the lines of, “dude, do you really need that third bacon cheeseburger?” If you are having a heart attack, call 911! We’ll deal with your diet later.