What’s in an age

I’m 46 years old. Like a 12 year old reading 17 magazine I look at people in their fifties and sixties with envy. Many of them are so cool!

At the same time I love the exuberance of youth. I have many friends in their twenties and I adore them. One of the greatest pieces of wisdom that my years have taught me is that growing old sucks and is a complete waste of time – don’t fucking do it!

I met a guy last night who was celebrating his 33rd birthday and feeling pretty old. He begged me to tell him that it gets better. I could honestly tell him that it most certainly does. I never felt older than I did when I was in my early thirties.

This guy was dealing with some physical deterioration and that is a normal part of aging which can’t be avoided, but can be mitigated. I still deal with some of the complications of an aging body but I’m also in the best shape of my life. I’m the strongest I’ve ever been, my weight, blood pressure, cholesterol and heart rate are perfect. Even my mental health is better than it has been in decades. All of this helps compensate for the fact that I’m not getting any younger.

I recently shaved off all my purple hair to let my natural color and beard grow out. Over the course of two weeks I completely changed my looks. The top of my head is almost completely bald and my hair is fifty to sixty percent gray. I got my first grey hair at twenty-four but that is beside the point.  The point is that for the first time in quite some time I was actually looking my age.

There is nothing wrong with looking your age but it is optional and I certainly don’t mind looking younger. I throw on a hat and a little “Just For Men” hair dye and I look ten years younger. I usually don’t play the “How old do you think I am?” game but it seemed to come up a lot yesterday. Guesses ranged from twenty-seven to thirty-eight (the older the guesser the closer they got).

The truth is I actually feel twenty-four and that is amazing. In my opinion it is the perfect age. It’s that point where you are old enough to know better but young enough not to care. Most people younger than twenty-four want to be older; those older, wish they were younger. I’m perfectly happy with my age but in a way I really am twenty-four. Twenty-four years ago, on Friday the Thirteenth of January, I nearly died. In many ways I started my life over on that day.  This is the year where I feel like I have fully come into my new life. This year has been all about knowing better but not caring and it has served me quite well.

The only thing I don’t understand is why in the hell do I still have acne?!? That just seems totally fucked up!!!

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About lefreakshow
A walking contradiction attempting to make sense of this crazy world though the power of creation, exploration and communication.

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