Things to come

As my life is becoming more structured I want to get back to trying to write everyday. There are so many thoughts and ideas floating around in my head that I really want to get out. I have an opinion about just about everything; I just haven’t felt that I have the  moral authority to speak about them. The more I read other people’s opinions the more I realize that I shouldn’t let that stop me.  It helps me to see that the crazy thoughts in my head are shared by great thinkers who have actually garnered respect for their ideas. When I find myself still disagreeing with people whose ideas I highly respect I come out thinking that I may have something original to offer. This doesn’t mean that I am right and they are wrong, only that I have a perspective which is uniquely mine. Some people will probably like what I have to say and some people might not. I hope you will let me know either way. I think the conversation is a good thing in and of itself. My thoughts and my beliefs are constantly evolving.

I want to try and tackle some of the big issues even if I can only do it in a small way. I want to share my musings on subjects like, god, meaning of life, good and evil, human evolution, fame and success, morality, inspiration, creativity, society, government, punishment and love. I also want to write my thoughts on the more mundane topics of the day like marijuana legalization, global warming, income inequality, gay marriage, the Arab-Israeli conflict, religious freedom and politics.

I’m sure that I will continue to intersperse some stories about my life but I don’t want that to be the focus. I’ve been using this in-the-moment memoir approach because my memory sucks and I wanted to have a way to remember what I’ve been through. I also figured that if anyone was going to be telling my story, it should be me. What I’ve found is that I don’t find my story all that interesting. I remember what I want to remember and the rest I am more than happy to forget. If someone else finds my story interesting, they are welcome to write about it. I need to write about what interests me.

My hope is that I will be able to develop a structure and framework that will make it easier for me to write. I also want to get to the point where I can write comfortably without the use of alcohol. I simply am not going to have the time to drink like I have been and there are some consequences to drinking that I would like to avoid. I know this will be a challenge for me. I’m much more self critical when I’m sober. I also have a hard time focusing on a single thought. I find my brain racing three pages ahead when I’m still struggling to find words to complete the sentence at hand. It’s really frustrating and time consuming but I need to find some other tools to help me focus.

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About lefreakshow
A walking contradiction attempting to make sense of this crazy world though the power of creation, exploration and communication.

2 Responses to Things to come

  1. Amyclae says:

    “I want to try and tackle some of the big issues even if I can only do it in a small way. I want to share my musings on subjects like, god, meaning of life, good and evil, human evolution, fame and success, morality, inspiration, creativity, society, government, punishment and love. I also want to write my thoughts on the more mundane topics of the day like marijuana legalization, global warming, income inequality, gay marriage, the Arab-Israeli conflict, religious freedom and politics.”

    Hey there! What a crazy world we live in whee I can just waltz in here and get published. Boom. Published. Here are my words. They’re here so they must be important. If my words are important I must be important, in some way. In some way. In what way? Who knows.

    Enjoy another follow. But if you’d allow me a moment, I’d like to urge you to avoid those topics. Not because they are too important, or you are not important enough. I urge you because I think the best blogs, and the most beauty, is in the smallest things. Not quite ‘every little snowflake is perfect because it is different.’ But similar. Every snowfall is different. Each snowfall obscures my sidewalk in not quite the same way. That moment when it is completely gone? Impossible to say, or replicate.

    To put it another way. Meditate on the full meaning of vemödalen. It’s a noun. It is the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist—the same sunset, the same waterfall, the same curve of a hip, the same closeup of an eye—which can turn a unique subject into something hollow and pulpy and cheap, like a mass-produced piece of furniture you happen to have assembled yourself. So I worry that one day you, also, will succumb to vemodalen, worrying (rightfully or not) that every post you make on those subjects will come off pulpy. Indigestible.

    Let me conclude my unsolicited advice with a simple apology for intruding on your space.

    • lefreakshow says:

      Welcome to my space. It is wonderful to have you. I’ve not heard the word vemödalen before but I am very familiar with the experience. It is a constant battle in creative pursuit. It is very disheartening to realize that I haven’t an original idea in my head. As a songwriter I am always asking myself why I bother when the world is already filled with songs far better than mine. The only answer I can come up with is because I can; most people can’t (or at least don’t) and in that way I do feel special. As for this blog, it is a work in progress, an experiment, and exercise which I find beneficial. If it benefits other people as well that would be wonderful. If it hurts anyone I hope that it can also serve as a platform for the injured to air their grievances. Other than that I have no expectations for what it will become. Pulpy and indigestible would be acceptable to me.

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