Yesterday

Yesterday was an absolutely fabulous day. Seriously, I’m so proud of yesterday.  This hardly ever happens to me, especially on Thursdays. Usually, I’m too wiped out from working Wednesday to do much of anything. But not yesterday. Yesterday I had energy, I got shit done, the weather was nice and everything seemed to be going my way.

I woke up at 10AM which was right when I wanted to. This gave me enough sleep after staying up writing the night before and enough time to get done what I had to get done, which was a lot. I had to:

  • Dive to target to exchange a print cartridge so I could print my pedicab license application.
  • Dump my newspaper recycling at the recycling center.
  • Fill out the pedicab application once printed.
  • Bike downtown to the get the form signed by Twin Town Pedicab.
  • Head to City Hall to get the license.
  • Bike bake home by 2:30 so that I could get my van and pick up my daughter from school at 3PM

I actually had everything done and was back home by 2PM – good thing too. When I got home I opened my mail and discovered that the county was over charging me on my property taxes. They had my home listed as non-homesteaded when I most definitely do live there… much of the time. In any case, it is my home!

So a quick call to the county told me that the problem was with the city. An even quicker call to the city told me that it would be taken care of and I was still able to pick my daughter up on time.

My daughter and I had fun shopping at the mall. I had a gift card for Claire’s that I needed to use up. My daughter and I have very similar tastes in fashion accessories.  I got my self some spiffy suspenders and some finger-less gloves. My daughter got a tie, some tights and a silver glittery bow for her hair. We then went back to my house where we had dinner and watched silly, funny YouTube videos until it was time to take her home.

Venus had asked me earlier in the day to guest DJ with hir at this monthly event at club underground called Vinyl Venus Space Lounge. It’s all vinyl, very eclectic, super swank fun night. I have no idea why nobody ever shows up. Basically, I was asked just to get one more person in the bar. Actually, the hope was that I would bring in more people. I tried but I didn’t really have time to promote beyond my close friends and while I can count on them for just about anything… I can’t always count on them to make it to a gig.

Oh well, I was done for it and I was going to have fun. I ran back to my house after dropping off my daughter,  grabbed up some records, slammed a beer and headed to the bar. Venus was already spinning so I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer from my buddy, the bartender. He said, “first ones on the house since you’re spinning tonight”. I love that shit!

I did my first set while finishing my beer then I ordered a second one for during my break. I only had twelve bucks in my pocket so how much damage could I do? I definitively watch my drinking when dealing with turntables but even more when I’m driving.  I ordered a water for my second DJ set.

After that, I was done, and felt like I could have one more beer. My limit when I’m driving is typical two but am willing to have three if they are well spaced out. This would have made my forth of the evening but over the course of five hours. So I was pushing my rule a little but I still felt completely sober.

That was until my lovely bartender offered to do a shot of Sambuca with me.  Shit! Now I had a dilemma. My number one rule is don’t drive while intoxicated but a close second is never turn down a free drink. What was I going to do?

Well I did the shot of course. I hadn’t done shots of Sambuca in years and years and I was feeling a bit nostalgic. Now, I was starting to feel it so when the second round of shots came around I said, “Fuck yeah!” to that as well. I also said yes to a refill of my empty beer glass.

I also said yes to Venus’ offer to drive me home.

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Life goes on

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. That’s what happens when I go to bed early. At least it gave me a couple hours to write before going to work. I’m still not done writing about the weekend. Haven’t even finished Saturday.

Actually, I’m starting to think that I’m doing it all wrong and should divide it out into two separate things. Also, thinking I should just slap it together and be done with it all. I’m also starting to think that writing a blog about how I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing is a brilliant idea! I’m still hoping it can become something more though.

So this is the challenge I faced this morning: My band leader and hir wife needed to get to the airport and I needed to fill my van with newspapers to deliver my route. I could have put a back seat in my van to transport both of them to the airport, then driven back to my house, removed the back seat and drove to CityPages and loaded my van with papers so I could go to work.

I could have done that but it would have seemed completely back ass-wards to me to have done it that way. I used to program logistics systems – it’s still in my brain.

The airport is in the same city as my route. The road to the airport takes me:

FIRST: past CityPages, where I pick up the papers

SECOND: past the lovely couple in desperate need of getting to the airport.

And they were desperate… well not that desperate… they could have called a cab but they would rather give their twenty dollar cab fair to a friend. Lucky me! I got to be that friend. After being rejected by five other people they turned to me. I’m a pretty safe bet. If you need me, there is a good chance that I’ll be there for you. But this system only works if you try everyone else first. Oh, and you may wind up sitting on a stack of newspapers.

I don’t even care about the twenty dollars. If you need my help and I can give it to you, I will. It’s never about money to me, but I’m not so rich, or so proud as to not accept it. I kind of think this is the ideal place to be. I want to be in a place where I don’t need any more money but if it comes my way I can use it to make my life and the lives of the people around me better.

My friend who I visited with after work asked if I could pick her up some Vanilla Almond Milk before coming to see her. She said she had ten-spot if I could give her $5 change. Seriously?!? The milk is $3, with my co-op discount, even less. Still, she insisted that I take the $5 as a delivery charge; so I did.

All totaled, I made $200 today for doing my newspapers, $20 for delivering my friends to the airport and $2 for delivering milk. I also spent $60 on gas, $6 on lunch, $10 on coffee, $3 on sugar, $125 on an e-cig system and $18 on whiskey, so basically I broke even.

… and life goes on!

 

 

A week in a day

Taking a couple of days off last weekend totally screwed up my daily post schedule. It’s also been a hard week for me to get anything done besides writing. I don’t know if that’s because I had a big weekend but I doubt it. Weeks like this happen regardless of what I do. It’s just the natural ebb and flow of chronic illness. It would have helped if I had kept up on taking Vitamin D every day but that got neglected in all the chaos.

Here’s a synopsis of my week to the best of my recollection:

Monday (25 Feb 2013)

I woke up at 11 am but was moving pretty slow. I had gotten 8 hours of sleep, which is two more than I usually get, but I had no motivation and an achy body. I had nothing to be excited about until I saw a text message from one of my best friends. She was also lacking motivation but needed to spend some time promoting her new business. Sometimes it’s easier to find motivation for someone else’s project than your own.

We spent several hours that afternoon putting up flyers. I was mostly there just for support but sometimes that’s all it takes. At least it got me out of the house. Without that, I have a feeling I would have laid in bed all day.

I was still beat by the time I got home. I received a call from a friend seeing if I would go out with her but I was done. I spent the evening writing and was passed out by midnight.

Tuesday (26 Feb 2013)

Tuesday sucked! After sleeping 10 hours it still took everything I had to get out of bed. I guess there was a high pollution count in the air. That may have made things worse. Fuck pollution  Not to mention, I had run out of coffee. How the hell did I let that happen? Oh yeah, sucky week so far.

The only thing I had to do was pick my daughter up from school at 3 pm. I did manage to do that but she was also having a really bad day. She just wanted me to take her back to he mother’s. I’m still glad I got to see her, even if only for a little bit.

In a way, I was relieved. This way I could just go home and get some more writing done. I stopped on the way to get tobacco and coffee, two things I neglected to pick up while out the day before. I also got some food for dinner since I hadn’t eaten all day.

At 8:15 pm I got a txt from a friend asking if she could call me. I had called her a couple of times over the past week or so and she was feeling bad about not getting back to me. I sent her a message back saying, “Call me. I’m just sitting at home writing.” [Actually I put two t’s in writing. I make that mistake a lot.]

We talked for a good hour but then I needed to get back to work. I finally got my post published just after midnight and headed to bed. There I got sucked into watching House of Cards on Netflix and didn’t actually fall asleep until 3 am.

Wednesday (27 Feb 2013)

Wednesday was my job day. I woke up a little later than I normal but not so late that I couldn’t get my route done in time. It just meant that I would run into a little more rush hour traffic at the end of the day but I skipped the morning rush hour traffic. Now that it is not getting dark so early I think it’s totally worth working later in the day.

I was still done by 4 pm or so. I called my friend to see if she would come in early for her restaurant job and hang out with me before punching in. I also called a mutual friend to join us. Good thing I did because friend #1 didn’t show up until it was time for her clock in. I would have been fine on my own. It’s just hard to see all the people I want to so sometimes I double book. I’m glad when I get to see at least one of them.

I ordered half a sandwich, soup and a beer. Shortly after, my friend showed up. I had not seen her since she got back from Florida so I was really eager to catch up. The whole time we were talking, I was eating and drinking my beer and she was just drinking the water I brought her. I was wondering why she wasn’t ordering anything. Was she not hungry? Was she not drinking? I didn’t want to pry but I was perplexed.

Then, through the course of our conversation, it became clear that she was not ordering anything because she couldn’t afford to order anything. I felt horrible. I could have at least offered her some of my soup or sandwich. In any case it would have been the polite thing to do.

Instead, I was selfish. I was treating myself after getting paid to a meal at a restaurant. It was the only real meal I would eat that day and I didn’t want to share. I was afraid to share. After six months of barely making it, I was afraid to be in that position again. I felt like I was splurging as it was and I didn’t have anything to spare.

But I did. I had money in my pocket. I could have at least bought her a beer. Instead I was a selfish dick. As bad as my financial situation was, her’s was worse. I made it through these past few months only because of the generosity of friends. Here was an opportunity for me give back and I blew it. There were other ways I could have helped that night but I kept over-thinking the situation, giving in to fear and not following my heart. Let me tell you, not honoring your core values feels really shitty.

I must have gotten home about 8 pm. I still wanted to get some writing done but I felt so far behind on my daily updates that I didn’t know where to start. Instead I decided to write my About page. I figured it was about time I had one of those.

Thursday (28 Feb 2013)

Getting out of bed on this particular morning was the worst it had been all week. For two hours I struggled. I would begin to get out of bed, roll half-way over and become too exhausted to continue. I would rest for another 10 – 15 minutes and try it again. I kept trying to entice myself with thoughts of coffee but in the end I just had to get all drill sergeant on my ass by tapping into my anger and frustration. I believe that chronic fatigue syndrome is primarily a condition of the brain but the brain is a pretty power piece of machinery.

About the only thing I accomplished during the day was writing my daily post which had nothing to do with my daily activities anyway. I did manage to get a shower in for the first this week but as a result I was running late to pick up my daughter from school.

When I got out to my van I discovered that my battery was completely dead. Some idiot had left the dome light on overnight. Okay, that idiot was me. Still, I was in a panic. A man a the end of the block was sitting in his car waiting to pick his daughter up from the bus. I asked him if he could give me a jump. I explained the urgency of my situation and he agreed to help. Unfortunately my jumper cables didn’t work for shit. We gave up and I realized I needed to get a hold of my daughter. It was ten to three and she would be out of class at 3 pm.

I didn’t even have the school’s phone number. My daughter’s phone has been lost in her apartment for over a month. I had no way to get a hold of her. I had to call her mother who started spewing so much information at me I could barely keep up and it just made me more frustrated as it got closer and closer to the time my daughter would be getting out of school. There was a time crunch here.

Anyway, I figured out what I needed to do. After some research online and a number of phone calls I finally got through to someone who could get a message to my daughter. She could go home with a friend and everything would be okay.

I still had to get my van running though. Normally I would just call AAA and someone would come give me a jump but I have already used up all my service calls until April. Yeah, I get my monies worth but now I was on my own. I couldn’t afford to call a service station to come give me a jump. I didn’t even know which of my friends to call so I turned to Facebook. Within 10 minutes I had two people offering to give me a jump. These were not even close friends, just people who knew of me and were able to help. It really made me feel like I was part of a community. I am so grateful for that!

Now with my van running I was just waiting to hear from my daughter so that I could go pick her up. I waited and waited. I sent a text message to her mother stating what I had done and that I hadn’t heard anything. I called the apartment but there was no answer. These are the moments a parent dreads, but I knew that they usually turn out just fine so I tried to remain calm. At 6:51 I called again and got my daughter on the phone. Her mother had picked her up. Relieved, I asked if she wanted me to come pick her up or if she wanted to stay there and I would see her the next day. She informed me that she had a doctor appointment in the morning so we decided I would pick her up after that and she could spend the night Friday.

I need to get this girl another cell phone. I can’t go through another day like that.

Friday (1 Mar 2013 – today)

I woke up today feeling pretty normal. I was excited to see my daughter. I was excited to get my life back on track. I made coffee, took my Vitamin D and got to work writing. I had a week’s worth of daily updates to write. Monday and Tuesday were pretty easy. I don’t know if you’ve notices but each day get’s progressively longer. I don’t know if that is because the passage of time gives me clarity or because I just fucking forget shit.

It’s now after one in the morning and I really need to get this done before I go to bed. I’m helping a friend move in the morning so I don’t want to spend all night doing this. Let’s see if I can be brief. This is already my longer post I’ve ever written.

At 10:09 am, as I’m exiting the freeway, I get a call from my ex-wife saying that my daughter is done with her appointment. I told her I was 2 minutes away and would pick her up at the main door of the hospital. When I got there my ex told me that she was going to miss her bus to class and asked if I could drive her to the bus stop. I love my ex-wife, as I love all people, but I really can’t stand being around her. Still, I know that if I can help someone I need to help them so I drove her to her class.

The next thing that needed to happen was to get my daughter a cell phone. We drove to World of Wireless. I’ve had some good experiences with them before but I think they are now way over-priced. A new place opened two doors down that is cheaper but my daughter and I both though we could do better.

We headed back to my house to check Craigslist and eBay. We had some fun bidding on eBay but didn’t win. Then it was time to run off for her chiropractic appointment.

When we returned I checked the mail and found my State tax refund check. We went back to eBay and bought a brand new phone, the same kind she lost, for $75.

We talked, had a snack, played a game, made dinner, watched TED Talks and a movie and whenever she was distracted with her own activities I would try to get some more writing done. That didn’t really work. Even when she is doing her own thing she could still manage to interrupt what I was doing. As well she should. I don’t see her that much and she loves her dad and she is absolutely my priority. We just need to work out some boundaries and mutual respect. She has a blog that she is working on as well. We will work it out in our own way. I just don’t think she has much experience with these things. So I sent her to bed at midnight and now I think I’m done.

In the news this week…

Minnesota introduced a bill that would remove the prohibition on same-sex marriage. After defeating an attempt to change the constitution to legalize this kind of discrimination I believe now is the time to end it once and for all.

Chuck Hagal was confirmed as Secretary of Defense. I think this is a very good thing too. Even though he is a Republican, I believe he is a man of principles and integrity.  That means more to me than whether we agree or not on all the issues. Unfortunately the congressional Republicans don’t see life that way…

…and so we have enter into sequestration.

 

 

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