This is serious

I just got home from rehearsal for our fuck the taxman, “Audit Hell” benefit that takes place at the Triple Rock Social Club on Saturday. I’m completely exhausted but I just drank a Monster energy drink so I’m going to try and whip something out before I crash.

Yesterday (Sunday) was a killer day. It was my first day not working in a week and my last day to myself before my daughter comes to live with me for 8 days while her mother is out of town. It was time to get my drink on.

But first it was time to give back to the community. I signed up for a volunteer shift at the Bastille Day Block Party with People Serving People to help Eureka Recycling make the event a zero waste event. Everything served at the event was either recyclable or compostable. My job was to stand by the receptacles and make sure that people put their waste in the right container.

Sounds like an easy enough job but for me, standing in one place for two and a half hours is brutal. That’s like running a marathon for me. I have no problem biking around, carrying passengers on a pedicab, for 13 hours but two hours of standing still will do me in. After that I seriously needed a drink. Luckily compensation for volunteering was two drink tickets and a food ticket – not bad.

After that I headed to the 19 bar for a beer and a Sapphire Tonic. Then I stopped by BJs for a beer, with turned out to be two beers because it’s “buy one get the second for a dollar”, on my way to Grumpy’s northeast. I had a couple beers and a shot of whisky there. All told, including the couple beers I had before I left the house I drank 10 beers, 1 cocktail and 1 shot over the course of 12 hours.

That used to be pretty standard fare for me but since I’ve been doing the pedicab thing I’m not drinking as much as have lost a considerable amount of weight. These days twelve drinks in twelve house gets me shit faced wasted. There really is no in between for me. I either have a drink or two or I get annihilated.

Luckily, the only embarrassing thing I did this time was try to get one of my favorite First Avenue bartenders and his wife in a threesome. Actually, I do that everytime I see them together. I just can’t help myself. They are so fucking cute! I don’t think they really take me seriously which is good. I mean I’m totally serious. I’m always serious but that doesn’t mean I should ever be taken seriously.

A rare video of “This is Serious” by the Minneapolis Band and 1985 Star Search winners, Limited Warranty